Consider the Joy

When God Doesn’t Give You What You Prayed For

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by

Michelle Martino
in 
“for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” - Philippians 2:13 (ESV)

I never expected this long-shot, impossible opportunity to come. And then it did.

With joy, I considered the details and how it would all work out. This seemed like a perfect fit for me. Every aspect of it was clear evidence of God’s work in my life. I dreamed of the possibilities and outcomes, slowly but surely overthinking every possible scenario. This isn’t sustainable, I thought.

So, as I felt led, I intentionally blocked off time each day to pray about this opportunity alone. There was no guarantee that this task would go as I wanted, and I couldn’t limit my faith to an outcome I desired. God might not respond exactly as I expect, and I have to trust Him through it. I have to believe that His ways are best for me.

In these quiet places, God illuminated specific details and people to pray for. God convicted me to ask Him for help guarding my heart, regardless of the outcome. If I succeeded, the responsibility could become an idol. If I failed, I might sulk in rejection.

For a week, I anxiously awaited the results. When I received the email, I clicked on it without hesitation.

I…didn’t get it. That opportunity wouldn’t happen, at least not any time soon. This opportunity was certainly not going to unfold as I planned. Disappointment and discouragement slowly creeped in, entangling my heart in layers of grief. Why, God? I prayed. I thought You led me here. I trusted God, and yet I also questioned God. I was grateful for His work in my life, but I was confused about my circumstances.

As hard as it was, I went back to my prayers over the week. I had to allow myself to be sad, process the disappointment, and move on. Where I remembered a familiar list of requests was actually a variety of details God prepared my heart for all along. I prayed for all the things with the mindset that this opportunity would be a “yes.” But God knew I needed to be fine, even if it were a “no.” 

In the middle of the week, God gave me Philippians 2:13. I paid attention to it then, but it made so much more sense now.

“for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” - Philippians 2:13 (ESV)

In this chapter, Paul encourages the church of Phillipi to continue in obedience to God. Paul explains that their faith is about their personal relationship with God, whether or not he could be present with them. (For context, Paul wrote this letter from prison.) The Philippians, like us, didn’t earn their salvation. They weren’t exercising their faith to show off to others. They were to tend to the personal relationship they had with God because salvation is only made possible by accepting Jesus Christ as Lord.

Verse 13 continues this point, explaining that obedience is not something we have to do on our own. It’s God working in us through His grace and steadfast love. Any work we do, therefore, is the byproduct of the Holy Spirit living within us. Whatever we do, then, we do for His glory (1 Cor 10:31). 

We have free will, but with the Holy Spirit residing in us, we develop a desire to do His will. When God works in us, it’s always for good. The ESV Study Bible explains “the desire (“to will”) to do what is good comes from God; but he also works in the believer to generate actual choices of the good, so that the desires result in actions.”1 When we are living within God’s will and His ways, we can’t go wrong.

As I processed this unexpected disappointment in my life, I kept this verse in my sight at all times. This wasn’t my doing, but then again, neither was my salvation or God’s grace. This confusing circumstance could actually be a demonstration of God’s grace, His perfect plan, and a timing I don’t yet understand. He could be protecting me from what I thought I truly wanted, knowing there would be something better to come.

And God works according to His will and for His good pleasure. He doesn’t exist to give me everything I want, when I want it. He knows better than that. I can trust Him to do better than that. He will always do what’s best and what brings His name glory because that’s the God He is.

My prayers transitioned from “Why, God?” to “God, You are my firm foundation no matter the outcome.

I know you’re with me, and I can handle whatever comes my way because I’m not alone. I have a secure identity and foundation in you, and nothing can take that from me.”

And when I doubt or question why God allows something, I remember:

This situation may not make sense right now, but I know that one day it will. One day I’ll look back and understand it all. But for right now, I’m going to rest in knowing that God’s best for me today is to stay exactly where I am.

And…an update.

When I wrote this post a couple months ago, things didn’t make sense. Yet I knew I still had every reason to trust God. Things didn’t go as I expected, that’s for sure. But for what I can share, God is faithful and He truly has worked everything out for my good. And all the glory belongs to Him for bringing forth this new season in a way only He can.

This outcome wasn’t what I prayed for. What God allowed and did was so much better.

References

  1.  Crossway Bibles. (2008). The ESV Study Bible (p. 2284). Crossway Bibles.

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