“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I thought sarcastically as I sorted through and hole-punched stacks of papers documenting the highlights of my health journey.
As I added each page into a binder, my mind replayed the frustration of getting nowhere, while holding onto hope that this next doctor would be the one to help. Gone were the days of using one online hub to house my documents. With each provider came a different platform and a more challenging way to access my history.
For years, I had been experiencing symptoms of a complicated chronic illness. But for some reason, getting the appropriate care seemed so far out of reach. By having this binder, every consultation and follow-up would be slightly easier for new medical professionals to know my story.
As I placed each page in the rings of my binder, my mind fixated on the ideal outcomes.
Wouldn’t it be nice if I didn’t need to keep sharing my concerns, over and over again?
What if I forget to mention something important that keeps them from taking me on as a patient?
What if they knew all the effort I put in to get answers?
How many times will I have to share my concerns before getting the right help?
How would things change if they really partnered with me in my healing in the way that’s best for me?
Looking to medical professionals for help is good and necessary. But friend, we must not forget to look to Jesus, our greater Physician and Healer.
Instead of fixating on a doctor, my mind suddenly shifted to the One who is the answer I’ve longed for.
Jesus knows my concerns and never tires of hearing about them.
Jesus knows every effort I’ve made to get clarity and pursue healing.
Jesus has been with me every step of the way, long before I had any symptoms. And I know He has been working all things to have the best outcomes, even if it takes longer than I expect.
When Jesus encounters the woman at the well in John 4:1-45, she doesn’t come carrying a binder outlining her past. She wasn’t looking for help. She had learned to cope with what she had experienced with no expectation of finding true healing. And yet, Jesus already knew everything she had done.
For the first time, Jesus revealed Himself as the Messiah (John 4:25-26). And not just to anyone, but to her, one who had been marginalized by society.
Jesus met the woman not with condemnation but with comfort. Her testimony isn’t one marked by shame, but one that exclaims “He told me all that I ever did” (John 4:39b). She delighted in Him knowing everything about her, because He saw her, knew her, and he still chose her, despite all her imperfections and sins.
As I close up my binder and prepare for the next appointment, I find comfort in knowing Jesus already knows every detail of my journey. He knows the dates, discussions, and outcomes of every appointment. Of every attempted step to experience healing. Of every frustration and of every glimmer of hope. He even knows the unseen, undiagnosed places the doctors have yet to discover. He knows the decisions that could have wrecked me, and He knows the solution to my healing…and when it will happen.
While my illness isn’t sin-related, it’s a part of living in a broken world. And it’s comforting to know that Jesus is working it all out for good. And that my condition doesn’t change how much He loves me.
I shared my story with another new doctor, but my Great Physician remained the same. I remained confident in Jesus, whose desire is to heal me in His ways and in His timing. His perfect peace overcame me, calming my soul and reminding me that I’m not in this alone. The outcome – both the healing and the victory – belong to the Lord.
Friend, Jesus is not only our Savior. He is our Source of comfort (see 2 Corinthians 1:3). He knows the depths of what we endure, and He cares about every last detail (see Psalm 56:8). May we take joy in this truth today!
Consider the Joy 
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