Standing Firm in the Waiting

“I’m going to trust God, but assume the rejection.”

That was my mindset during my 2nd year of college. I was in desperate need of a scholarship to fulfill my God-given dreams. But just because I was eligible didn’t mean it was available. New classes hadn’t yet started and somehow I was more burned out than ever. Maybe, in your waiting, you feel the same way: defeated, depleted, discouraged.

Proverbs 3:5 says to “trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” The word for trust implies confidence, security, and safety. We have to place all our hope in God, not in our own, imperfect efforts. And when we trust and wait on him, our strength is renewed (Isaiah 40:31). Our joy is restored. Our hope is heightened. Our peace is unshakeable.

At the time, I wasn’t really trusting the all-powerful God of the universe with what I asked for and needed; I was reducing him to something that made sense in my anxious mind. I was assuming future rejection, which only kept me from experiencing the abundant life God promised me for today.

It was then that I realized this: my identity is not found in what I ask God for; it’s purely based on who God has called me to be. While I strived for a letter of approval, God already accepted me as his beloved. He gave me every reason to completely trust him.

I no longer anticipated failure. I trusted that God was doing what was best for me. It may not be what I picture or assume to be best, but then again, I have a limited perspective. I surrendered my desires and looked to God alone to lead me. My worth and my identity come from him…not from things.

One unexpected day, my spiral of skepticism was interrupted with a phone call from my advisor. The words “I have a scholarship for you” sounded too good to be true. But that’s how good God is. And all those dreams I had came to pass in time.

I’m really glad that God is not restricted to my expectations. He always exceeds them.

Reflection: What are you waiting for from God? How can you remind yourself of your identity in Christ apart from that need or dream? Share your thoughts in the comments below!